I don't get Mozambique sometimes. There are just many things that I think I will never fully understand or never be any less annoyed about. This goes for Mozambican critters too.
I don't get Mozambican pests. Take one particular Mozambican breed of ants who constantly attack our water supply. One day I left a half-finished sucker on our kitchen table overnight (I got distracted before I finished it evidently) and in the morning was awe-struck to find a herd of ants swarming not the half-eaten delicious sugary sucker, but instead a glass of water also left on the table.
The same ants also crawl into our water filters by the cagillions and rather than sipping water from their position on the walls of the container like normal animals, they dive right into the water. And they don't swim alone or give eachother space while they splash around. The idiots congregate in big floating ant-balls. So weird. When I open the filters, I find these almost perfectly spherical balls of ant bodies. To get to the bottom of this weirdness, I decided to dissect an ant ball one day to see if there was some sort of food particle that they all were trying to get to, but when I got to the center, I only found dead ant bodies. Why?!?! What does this accomplish? What does the ant ball do for you? If you are thirsty, why do you jump completely in the water? And why do you crawl all over eachother? Is the ant ball worth it? Are you at least happy before you die in this bizzare and retarded suicidal terrorist attack on my drinking water? Epa! Getting mad just typing this.
On to the rats. We have this a-hole rat in our house now who we named after a slime-ball guy in town who annoys the crap out of every white girl who steps foot in Angoche. Fitting right? Anyway, the first time I saw him (the rat not the guy), he was crawling up the outside of my bedroom window screen. So he was contained between the pane and the screen. It dawned on me as I was running into the other room yelling out death-threat warnings to our new furry friend while trying to find a suitable weapon, that he really must have done something tricky to get into the space between my screen and my window. And by the time I came back, weapon in hand, he was gone. Unfortunately, the light in my bedroom is not working, so I had that against me during the hunt that ensued. Lil fart knew exactly what he was doing! The next morning when I had light, I carefully examined my windows, frames, and screens. No holes. And outside the windows, there is a 3 story drop-off. The walls inside and out are made of solid extremely smooth cement. How did he do it? He got in and out without holes!
Magical a-hole rat.
These guys do stuff I don't understand just to make me angry. Thats not all though.
We have a lot of food laying around in our house--a wonderful buffet full of selections any rat would love. We have nuts, left-overs, candy, chocolate cake, an array of grains, peanut butter, etc--and no way to lock it all up from furry thieves. So what does he go after???
Bananas??? Really? And the guy doesn't even finish a banana he starts. He takes a few bites and then leaves it!
Wasteful, magical a-hole rat.
The bananas are really small, he could at least finish what he starts. Come on.
Maybe I shouldn't have said any of this. My mom is coming to visit very soon. Just kidding Mom. None of this is true.